Rocky Mountain Oysters, Pt. 2

I promised Kirk that if he blogged about testicles in his Ugly Bits series, I would proudly link to it.  He actually makes them sound pretty good:

Today’s ugly bits are testicles.

sigh. Ok, when you get over your giggle/gagging fits I’ll go on. No double entendres, no puns — at least, none intended.

The testicles with which I’m most familiar are beef. I’ve had goat testicles once so I’ll touch on that before I quit.

If you buy them whole, you’ll discover they look a lot more like a thick sausage than a ball. They are pretty much pure protein. (No, not a bad joke.)

Taste and texture wise… ok, texture first. Think of a veal tenderloin. mmmm, smooth, buttery, melt in the mouth. Now think even smoother. Tastewise it depends on the age. Testicles from calves are, well, like that veal tenderloin. There’s a beef taste but it’s very mild and mellow. If you get them from a bull, however, they’re a lot gamier. Not bitter or salty or nasty, just kill that thought right there. More like the difference between wild and farmed salmon, or older wild game. It’s a stronger, definite beef flavor.

For the rest of the article, go here

Rocky Mountain Oyster Adventures

Don’t worry.  No recipes for rocky mountain oysters here.  Though I will give you a link to my favorite festival name:  The Annual Testicle Festival, which always sounds like a wild time.  If you hurry, you can get tickets to this year’s event.  My adventures were much tamer, though still made my day a bit happier.

After writing the post on Stadium Dogs and then JeffreyW making Italian Sausage for lunch the other day, I was totally craving some myself.  So I stopped at the store to pick up the ingredients for a Spicy Italian Sausage feast.  To my surprise, the sausages were on sale.  See it was meant to be!  Then I noticed the price on the packages – no sale price.  I kindly asked the butcher to fix it for me and he tried, but the scanner gun would only print out the wrong price.

Finally he gets the manager, who takes my package away saying, “I’ll have to find something that is the right price per pound so we can fix this for you.” He comes back and kind of sheepishly says to me, “it’s the right price now, but when you ring this up, your receipt is going say you bought rocky mountain oysters.” He seemed relieved when I laughed and said I’d have to come up with a good recipe for them.  And yup, my receipt says: Beef Bull Fries: Rocky Mountain Oysters.  But, hey, I got my sale price.   Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen them for sale in the meat case.  You must have to ask for them special.  And if you ask me, the price per pound seems a bit steep.  Just saying.